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Poetry Directory : Members' Collection
Member: TomJones  My Profile Contact Me

If you never lost, you never really tried.

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Beer Drinking Poetry Poetry Poems
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    Selected Poem
The Drunken Spree of Ritchie Flanagan
If you’re into drinking Guinness
And you hate an empty glass,
If you’d rather sup a barrel
Than trade kisses with a lass.
If you drink for hours and hours,
And you wake up worn and wan
If you need a bit of company
Then Flanagan’s your man.

I remember well last year
When we went out on a spree.
There was Monaghan, O’Cassidy,
And Flanagan, and me.
We began the night at Casey’s
Where the drinks went down a treat
Until at last, just Flanagan
And me were on our feet.

We staggered from the barroom
And sang a bawdy ditty
But Flanagan sang extra loud.
He’d pocketed the kitty
Unhappily, our little noise
Brought out a Dublin bobby.
Then Flanagan grew angry,
Stating drinking was his hobby.

He threatened the policeman.
The poor young guarda ran
With Flanagan in hot pursuit;
A most ferocious man!
He screamed abusive language
The guarda turned quite pale.
He thought he’d found a sanctuary,
He locked himself in jail.

Policemen came from miles around
To join in the fight
It took a dozen guarda
To subdue our man that night.
His ranting and his raving
Would make a mother weep
Until a well placed truncheon
Put Flanagan to sleep

The next day, in the courtroom,
His head was stiff and sore.
The magistrate looked down and said
“ I’ve seen your face before.
The fact that I’m your father
Doesn’t mean I’ll grant you bail
You’re a dirty, drunken reprobate.
I’m sending you to jail.

- Thomas Vaughan

Submitted: 12/25/2000 Printer Friendly
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